Given that the room is so tiny, it’s enough to divert you from your meal. A striptease by Aphrodite (Molly Beth Morossa), and wax-dripping performance by Persephone (Charlie Bouquett) are in-your-face funny and sexy. But if you’ve booked a ticket based solely on the dinner, prepare to be distracted. Carnivores are served guinea fowl and the veggie option is stuffed courgette with beans. Please check out our pinned post regarding our cancellation/missed. It’s rare that we’d advocate being naked during a show, but this is one of the rare occasions where the humidity might suit the free-your-inhibitions vibe.We’re then led upstairs to a three-course bacchanalian feast, which is tasty enough. Please call to book an appointment between our opening hours. Two things immediately stand out: the overtly boozy cocktails (we’ll forgive that for the exceptionally tasty Smoky Old Fashioned) and the sheer heat of the covered archway setting. And in short, it’s an absolute blast.In a tantalising pre-dinner preamble, we’re introduced to a troupe of actors in character as ‘the Maenads’, who rove around the audience, making small talk about our clearly inferior outfits while we’re standing around in one of the downstairs bar areas. The atmospheric venue’s latest immersive show, Shotgun Carousel’s ‘Divine Proportions’, is part stand-up, part-cabaret, part dinner party. M1lk Teeth may be the baby of the family, but it’s already proving it can hold its own with the big boys.It’s 8pm and I’m already clutching a cocktail and dancing along wildly to ‘Like a Prayer’ in some dark corner of the Waterloo Vaults. Try the Polly, a mango smoothie thick with the scent of fragrant lemon verbena, or a slice of the moist, fluffy banana bread, which came with a crunch-edged, wattleseed-studded butter. Smoothies, juices and cakes were also great. You can have it with a couple of slices of dry-cure bacon, smoked salmon, or – and here’s where it gets interesting – with buttery-soft, smoked eel. The Young Betty was essentially a trendy eggs benedict, with terrific sourdough (thick, chewy, crusty) instead of the traditional English muffin. Dark exposed bricks may be a bit obvious, but there are also beige tiles, faux-marble tables and a ceiling that’s either half-finished or half-started.Įveryone comes for brunch. It’s a high-ceilinged space, with lots of light and a look that’s deliciously retro-cool. The breezy young Aussie staff gave everyone an equally warm welcome. In fact, there were several families with tiny humans in tow, while in another corner, a handful of headphones-in-laptops-on hipsters sat sipping flat whites around a communal table. A calmer, more grown-up take on the original, it’s the kind of place that plays gangster rap, but not at a volume that says ‘kids can fuck right off’. M1lk Teeth is on a scrappy but evolving stretch of Mitcham Road and is, cliché or not, a jewel in the rough. Time Out Food editors, MARCH 2020.įans of Balham’s cult brunch hangout M1lk were chuffed to hear that a spin-off was opening just down the Northern Line. You might recognise the name: the original Juliet’s Quality Foods in Tooting is one of south-west London’s best-loved (and best-looking) brunch. Please note, this coffee shop, formerly known as Milk Teeth, is now called Juliets Quality Food. And that exception is Juliet’s Cafe and Bar.
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